2 December 2011
me, greg saunier of deerhoof, prima aulia, and tamma febrian sitting down on a moderately filled hawker centre trying to solve the mystery of chinese carrot cake, principles of journalism, etc
G: so you guys work for this (uptothesky) festival?
One of us: no.
G: okay. you must be an artist. (talking to me)
A: i'm not?
G: oh really? then you are. (talking to tamma)
T: me? of course not…
G: you're not. (now talking to prima) you're designing websites.
G: okay, so what do you do? (to me)
A: i'm a student. studying communication.
G: ah…communication. then why is our…our communication so poor?
A: yeah that's because i haven't enacted my communication skills yet.
G: okay. so what do you do? (to tamma)
A: well, make a guess! it's easy.
(to be fair, this is tamma. try to guess yourself)
G: hmm…you are a…barber?
All of us: WHAT? (choking, laughing, dying)
T: no, man…i have such a boring job.
G: boring? what do you do?
T: i work in a bank. (tamma should get his head slaughtered by his boss for this)
G: you work in a bank! that's not boring! that's what she wants to do! that's what you're studying, right? (referring to dara, their artist coordinator slash our friend)
D: hahaha, yeah, yeah
G: so you guys will be watching us tomorrow?
P: yeah, we actually are from a magazine…we'll be reviewing this festival.
G: you're from press? oh no!
A: hmm, why?
G: first rule of journalism. if you're from press, you're not supposed to make friends with the artists.
A: why is that so?
G: because, because you see…when the artists start making friends with the journalists--which i'm NOT doing btw--don't you feel a little burdened to write a good article? now that we're friends, with my new yorker charm and all...don't you feel like you should write a good review about us? and if you don't, i'm gonna get mad at you!
A: oh, bias.
G: yeah, that's the word. bias. okay, what about this: you can design my website, you can deal with our finance, and you…you take care of the publicity. and then you can watch our show for free.
A: hmm, interesting.
G: so deal?
P & T: yeah, deal.
A: wait. your show or your shows?
G: my shows? what do you mean? we only have one show in singapore.
A: no, i mean. we can come down to new york and watch your shows for free…and then you pay the flight tickets.
G: hmmm this is nice.
A: umm, yeah. that's…carrot cake. i often eat that too.
(i can't speak chinese, in case you're wondering. but for the sake of it…)
G: yup. carrot cake. that doesn't look like carrot cake.
T: there's no carrot in carrot cake.
G: hmm yeah, i don't even know what i'm eating.
A: there isn't? i thought there is?
G: no, there's no carrot here…doesn't taste like carrot at all.
A: well, but i thought some of the real carrot cakes don't taste like carrot too…you know, the american ones. the sweet ones with cream and all. the real cakes.
G: oh yeah, that's true…
T: but there isn't supposed to be carrot there!
G: oh really? what's this then?
G: oh yeah, flour.
P: and eggs, some veggie…
A: and soy sauce.
G: yeah, yeah. so there's no carrot.
A: i still think there is.
G: okay. WANNA BET?
A: umm… (thinking twice) (or thrice) (or not really, just being a coward) AH i just remembered, yeah. there's no carrot in carrot cake. i remember a book with that title before. no carrot.
G: ha! and the book, there is a book about carrot cake?
A: no, well, it's just about singaporean food. you've just gotta have a very catchy title for it.
G: yeah, that's true.
("thanks for keeping up with our insults and stuff", said greg by the end of his band's show. i'm quoting him here, just in case...)