this semester had been quite a dry one for me, modules taken being mostly communication and sociology-related--and i did not get to take any psychology (favorite subject, or perhaps it was just the teacher) module this semester or even possibly for the rest of the years i'll be spending in university. that should come across as no surprise for me as after all, i am a communication major. but when studying psychology i found many interesting things to talk about, or to just stop and ponder about; psychology felt like a science closest to human beings and to society. but now, if there was anything interesting slash relevant i managed to learn this semester, it would be dialectical tension from interpersonal communication module.
i feel like, this is the thing that has been closest to explaining what has been happening to my blog recently (or maybe, since forever): wanting two opposing things at the very same time. (not that it's a bad thing or a major problem, it's just like some tiny bug that takes away a slightest portion of my comfort everyday…)
especially this dialectic: public vs private and openness vs protection. i want this space to have some intimate depth but it is really difficult to achieve this without intruding my own personal space, no matter how sentences are being craftily rephrased. and maintaining the balance constantly feels like a hard work especially recently...
and therefore i am thinking of shifting this blog (again) to another direction
all the personal baggage would not be dumped here anymore. not a depersonalization attempt, just filtering out what would be appropriate and what would be not. a few times i was tempted to sail away in this direction but an internal force always tried to pull me back. an internal force that is afraid of change,
but there shall be no shame in changing.
hence, some major changes are expected in short time (eg layout and content of the blog). i am just a collection of likes and dislikes anyway.
so from now kindergarchy will be a collection of my likes (movies, books, arts, fashion, design, music) that i want to share with you. to let loose the kindergarten self in you and me that in actual fact never graduate. to admit that there is a part in us that refuses to grow up. to show that this kind of retaliation is fine, and here we should not attempt to eliminate its visibility. an escapism? perhaps.
the blog will remain slightly personal to the extent that some personal contents are hoped to align with this new goal --including my own pictures, reviews, writings, and thoughts. otherwise it will be more like you peeking at the world, instead of you looking into me, through my lens.
that's for now
thanks a lot for sticking up…
(sources of collages can be found by clicking on the images)