Life is too short for PMS

I currently have a kind of love-hate relationship with this blog.

Firstly, it is a hodge-podge, a topsy-turvy projection of my mind. It is not entirely about a specific thing, it does not have a concept (yet) and thus I don’t know if it’s good to carry on. I sometimes blog on music, on art, on fashion, on movies, or just on thoughts like this. Often it does not turn out like what I want.

I always want to write something personal, something I have a great intimacy and affinity with, but at the same time I want to write something of greater usefulness for people. I don’t mean personal things are useless; in fact my goal here is to share some personal bits of my experience and knowledge that possibly can be useful to you. So you won’t have to think you’ve wasted your precious time stumbling upon or reading my writing any further. But let’s see, there’s much less point in that, if I think too much about what other people think about my writing.

Sometimes I feel that I have no more energy to finish the paragraph, and I’ll just leave the writing unfinished for an undecided, indefinite time. My thoughts are scattered and they all eventually die rotten. My stroke of pencil grows fainter. My eyes droop like wrinkles, my body wilts with time. They usually call this a state of total dullness, when one is totally uninspired at one particular point of time, like a blackout. It’s kind of hard to get the spirit back; it’s not like your puppy that you can summon with your distinct whistles or screechy screams. To gather your energy, to rekindle your passion in something are sometimes beyond your ability. It’s just a phase, a cycle like a woman’s PMS; inevitable. You feel unmotivated at the time, next you’re bursting with spirits and colours. Then you fall into the pit of monochromatic state of mind again. It’s natural.

But in life, people are not gonna so caringly ask, “Oh, dear, you’re on PMS today, aren’t you? Fine, I’ll take care of your work today, don’t worry. Here, have a cup of coffee first, you need to relax yourself” right? You’ve got to deal with it, no matter what mood you’re in, no matter whether it’s writer block that takes hostage. You MUST resume your work. Therefore it is important to reduce the length and frequency of your dull moments as much as possible. It is crucial to control your passion and your energy, tame them and subsequently synchronise them together.

So, that’s my current goal. :-)