ice

your circle is getting bigger, consistently magnifies, its edge overlapping with other circles, almost touching mine but will never be, because you are too fluid, too mobile; and it is a scary thing to think that once excluded i will never become included again, no matter how many times i try to slide around, to slip in again. you, on the other hand, will shift away, you move around, and there is this magnetic force your ways of moving always seem to exert, which only works one way towards my direction, a one way mirror, a great way to torture and suffocate someone because you will never have to plead guilty to this crime whose presence you have never been aware of…

…now our lives comprise one disunited venn diagram, because you have taken parts of my circle that you shouldn't. and now my circle is deformed, its rotation an ugly sight to behold. nothing can be done to fix it again, unless you come around and offer me back the stolen part. but to me it is gone forever, the probability of the previous proximity only a dream, a thing from the past, a history. and this is the only 'what if' i would ever* allow myself to bring over to my deathbed.

i was a technicolour girl back then. i do miss my colours but i think i do not mind satisfying myself with
a bluer palette, a paler scheme, or a monochrome.

*we are too young for the word 'ever'.