kindergarchy.

one of the most precious feelings i'd had when i was not sleeping all day/watching bad tv shows/reading in my room these two days was the feeling i had during my trip home, the whole process

now that i live in the suburban part of this island, i have to take a fairly long journey by train each time i'm going out to the town area, during which i always try to have my nose in a book. i consider this as an advantage, not just an activity to keep myself occupied since i realised how much i want to read more.

yesterday i accompanied my mom to this it & furniture exhibition at suntec city and ended up buying some massage coupons. my mom used one right away and i had a 10-minute trial as well and concluded that the coupons were quite useful and salubrious. afterward i had a plate of a duck confit burger (whole grilled boneless duck leg confit in handmade orange sauce, baby snow pea sprouts, mandarin orange on a bed of coral lettuce, tomato on a toasted caramel bun) for dinner with ican and bening at the handburger. the sauce had a delicate taste with a hint of moist orange flavour that blended really well with the duck leg. i tried eating a small piece of orange, duck meat and caramel bun concurrently and it tasted really fresh and piquant but never fulsome. it was a humbly zesty meal.

today we talked about helvetica and korean fandom and bookshops over some creamy cakes at le chocolat cafe; bening had a frozen concoction of raspberry cream and dark chocolate, mine was a cheeky passionfruit cheesecake and ican had this warm chocolate cake on wafer-textured base coated with rich, sticky melted chocolate. we agreed that ican's cake was the tastiest among the three, but i liked how bracing my cake was with some small chunks of passionfruit populating its base, and how the cheesecake wasn't too cheesy/dairy.

by the time we'd finished our cakes it was drizzling and i was the only one who brought an umbrella, so we went inside several vintage shops along the road for a shelter. i liked the scent in one shop that seemed more serious in bringing the vintage feel compared to the others. the shop had an earthy ambience and the scent went along with it very well, it smelled of spices which radiated inviting warmth across the room. The lighting was mild, the room was dimly lit by a few lamps hung on the walls and standing on the tables. i hate overly bright lightings like those in some korean cosmetic shops for they often make you feel uneasy and exposed

i left some of my mom's stuff at the handburger the day before and was relieved to find that they were still kept safe by the staff. i fetched them there after having a second round of dessert at the honeymoon cafe.

ican thought of starting a new blog but she asked wouldn't it be pointless because she doubted that someone would ever read it. i said i would, besides i think it doesn't really matter whether people read your thoughts, unless you're asking for opinions. otherwise the more important thing is keeping a record of them so you get familiar with the pattern of your thoughts and how they flow from one place to another.

for the trip to the town i was always still very alert so i didn't find any problem reading on train, which sometimes requires me to clutch the book open in one hand while tighly holding onto the hand grip with another hand. but after a long and grueling day (although fun) you'd find your energy and concentration gradually dissipating so it's hard to focus on the lines. but i conclude that it often depends on the book. i found myself struggling to get past a few pages of the lovely bones while i could effortlessly read through a few chapters of the bell jar yesterday and today.

i really like the bell jar, it's such a well-written book. the depression encountered by the main character seems so real; the choices you face at some points of your life and how you can't always depend only on one skill, because in order to survive you often need both off-beat and common/basic talents. i've only read 3/4 of it

i have to change trains during my trip so i always stop reading for a while. during these breaks i always see my favourite scene in mrt stations--people pouring out of the train doors vigorously like cheesy cream oozing from a heated piece of a cut pizza crust. during peak hours the flow would be like that of lubricant oil spilling from its container; viscous and thick. there are also times where the flow is much calmer like that of pure water descending the river and its tributaries.

during these transitions i always have fleeting thoughts which are always gone too fast before i've got the chance to jot them down at home, and this has always been pestering me. but it always feels good when your mind races over a gamut of things while you are alone in a crowded spot, so i don't really mind. my friend also said that these thoughts would eventually bounce back if they really have to. hence i would just take my time strolling from the mrt station to my home thinking and being grateful of many things including the cool, easy breeze that only belongs with the silent, absorbing navy-black sky.