The book of answers

Yesterday, I found something friggin at a favorite bookstore, Aksara Kemang. I was reading a book when something eye-catching caught my attention.

The book of Answers by Carol Bolt. I wonder "What is this? Another philosophy novel?" Then I read the explanation on the backside. It says "Just hold it closed in your hands and concentrate on your question for a few seconds. While visualizing or speaking your question, place one palm down on the book’s front and stroke the edge of the pages back to front. When you sense the time is right, open to the page your fingers landed on and there is your answer! "

At first, I just thought how silly this thing is, but... Who is not tickled to have a try of this tempting stuff? So I slightly have this on my mind "Does he really love me?" And open the book, and dun dun....




NO.

Only this word, contains two letter. So I held back, and took a deep breath. This word easily ate my mind up and kept playing like a damaged tape. The thing is, this book didn't really work to me for the second time. I tried another question like "Is it okay if I keep the things up with him?" but the answer were "Maybe next year" or "Yes but you have to force it" which didn't really have a connection. But the answer of my first question was a hit. Maybe you think it was just another coincidence, but sorry, I'm not a fan of that thing.

"In this world there are no such coincidences, only inevitability", that's what I believe.

So then, maybe NO is not the real answer but by now I've started another step, another thought that I'm actually complete and I don't want to ruin everything in my life. I'm not a little needy chick asking for attention nor affection who thinks that to be in a relationship will save my life. So, if he doesn't really love me, what should I force? A relationship that would make me incomplete? Sorry but no.

In seconds, I'll stop thinking about him. The next glance, I'll completely get him out of my mind. One more glimpse I'll realize that I'm not in love with him. I don't even have to summon Lacuna inc for these, I have the capability to do these by me myself. Perfect. And by the time I've taken control of what I feel, I'll hang around with you, with anyone, or even with him without any guilty feelings nor hard thoughts of pressure. Because I know, I'm not in love with him anymore.