The book of answers

Yesterday, I found something friggin at a favorite bookstore, Aksara Kemang. I was reading a book when something eye-catching caught my attention.

The book of Answers by Carol Bolt. I wonder "What is this? Another philosophy novel?" Then I read the explanation on the backside. It says "Just hold it closed in your hands and concentrate on your question for a few seconds. While visualizing or speaking your question, place one palm down on the book’s front and stroke the edge of the pages back to front. When you sense the time is right, open to the page your fingers landed on and there is your answer! "

At first, I just thought how silly this thing is, but... Who is not tickled to have a try of this tempting stuff? So I slightly have this on my mind "Does he really love me?" And open the book, and dun dun....


Only this word, contains two letter. So I held back, and took a deep breath. This word easily ate my mind up and kept playing like a damaged tape. The thing is, this book didn't really work to me for the second time. I tried another question like "Is it okay if I keep the things up with him?" but the answer were "Maybe next year" or "Yes but you have to force it" which didn't really have a connection. But the answer of my first question was a hit. Maybe you think it was just another coincidence, but sorry, I'm not a fan of that thing.

"In this world there are no such coincidences, only inevitability", that's what I believe.

So then, maybe NO is not the real answer but by now I've started another step, another thought that I'm actually complete and I don't want to ruin everything in my life. I'm not a little needy chick asking for attention nor affection who thinks that to be in a relationship will save my life. So, if he doesn't really love me, what should I force? A relationship that would make me incomplete? Sorry but no.

In seconds, I'll stop thinking about him. The next glance, I'll completely get him out of my mind. One more glimpse I'll realize that I'm not in love with him. I don't even have to summon Lacuna inc for these, I have the capability to do these by me myself. Perfect. And by the time I've taken control of what I feel, I'll hang around with you, with anyone, or even with him without any guilty feelings nor hard thoughts of pressure. Because I know, I'm not in love with him anymore.


  1. But, Man don't stuck at this point. It's just a book. The good thing is, you realized that you don't love him, right? Yeeaa, you don't deserve him. You deserve better baby, love yooouuu

  2. oh oh i want to try the book. hey,the last paragraph of this posting is my wish,hahaha

  3. Thank you my baby nadine, yes but "it's an inevitability, not a coincidence" is my thing, i dont really believe in coincidence. though maybe it wasnt the right answer, it has led me to this step, to stop thinking about him. this world is wide and vast right? it's better to know more people than to just keep thinking about this stupid little lad. But still nadine, I loved him, I dont know what I am feeling right now, I feel extremely lost :(

  4. yes you should pica! ah thank you for reading til the last paragraph :) I think it is the wish of everyone who loves somebody that they shouldn't...

  5. You know what? Sometimes what we want most in life are things that would kill us. If you really really want him, it perhaps could 'kill' you

  6. Yes, what we love is what hurts the most

  7. but this is a good step fwend, love is all around, and you know we love you manda <3