it is a little bit hard
to draw the line
maybe because we are scattered in space and
there is just no sense of direction
what is right to you is left to me
or what is up, what is down
maybe because when we are drowning
the seabase may be where we are heading
where we are heading, the seabase
is what 'up' means to me

watched samuel beckett's waiting for godot yesterday, wow
i liked it
boyfriend asked what do you think the play means
i thought certainly a lot
and i said one of them, maybe passage of time
but toward the end of the play, i thought mostly
of social proof, of existence as meagre as witnessed only by a friend, a tree, and a stone
maybe also by the dusks and the dawns that sometimes feel
because what else is there for us
nothing to be done

i liked the slur by lucky too
sometimes you can excavate precious things from incoherent thoughts

after watching the play we went to a hospital and
i had these bad rashes around my nose
the doctor said i had an allergy
something foreign to me, i thought i could eat
everything and
put up with everything
but at the same time also relieved that, it was nothing
google made people paranoid maybe everyone should have the right to know that
the best results are often sponsored? and hence of questionable truthfulness

the doctor saw a flash of anxiety in my face and she
touched me and said
don't worry you are still pretty
and i felt alive again
it seemed like a strange validation and
a calm kind of haptics that i would like to experience
i have had positive encounters with female doctors in singapore
when i got out of the room i said this to him and said
you indeed are
it was a good day with my premium rash

(yes i am now on instagram. @arizkita)

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