29.6.12

running thoughts

that time's density really relies on the type of activities i am carrying out, if i am now running the same half an hour could stretch a forever longer than the other half an hour i spent earlier on my bed thinking of pretty faces (but this should not mean the rest 23 hours should be spent in entirely the same way);
and henceforth it is good to slow down, but there are times i must run around;
that consistency is important, but balance is paramount, contrast is good, and starting is everything

i felt overwhelmed by thoughts the time i was running after a long time, as if each surface--of stone, of grass, of holographic puddle, of sky, of people's faces had at least a line etched on it
maybe because i felt for the first time actively doing the same thing (right foot, left foot, left arm, right arm, head bobbing within a few cm range) over and over for relatively long time quite frustrating without any passing thought, as if it was unwhole, as if it was hollow, and i was guilty

but recently i learnt to occupy my body with my surrounding, i sucked in the view of the long road, of slow sedans, i sucked in people's faces that liquefy into murky waters and i felt safe in all these because we did not have to know one another.
finally a feeling that the fact that we coexist together does not mean a thing. strangers are wonderful thing because you have the choice, the privilege, the right to not understand them
the less you know about people the better
sometimes

i ran faster than my father but i did not think he was proud of my running

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