3.4.11

comet's tail



Started the day by recalling my dream: getting slapped by myself for overusing the word 'nice'. Surreal. But since it's me, it's possible

Had a shower early in the morning, helped mom prepare food for a mini gathering, ate my fav snacks, had savoury meatballs for breakfast and lunch, went to esplanade to catch l'alphalpha & leonardo's performances

i liked l'alphalpha's set, bought their tee and made it a cropped top (if you're into sax music/jazz-rock you might like leonardo)

on my way back home, read a few more pages of the lovely bones and it started to grow on me
I watched him as he lined up the ships in the bottles on his desk, bringing them over from the shelves where they usually sat. He used an old shirt from my mother's that had been ripped into rags and began dusting the shelves. Under his desk there were empty bottles--rows and rows of them we had collected for our future ship-building. In the closet were more ships--the ships he had built with his own father, ships he had built alone, and those we had together. Some were perfect, but their sails browned; some had sagged or toppled over after years. Then there was the one that had burst into flames in the week before my death.

He smashed that one first.

My heart seized up. He turned and saw all others, all the years they marked and the hands that had held them. His dead father's his dead child's. I watched him as he smashed the rest. He christened the walls and wooden chair with the news of my death, and afterward he stood in the guest room/den surrounded by green glass. The bottles, all of them, lay broken on the floor, the sails and boat bodies strewn among them. He stood in the wreckage. It was then that, without knowing how, I revealed myself. In every piece of glass, in every shard and sliver, I cast my face. My father glanced down and around him, his eyes roving across the room. Wild. It was just for a second, and then I was gone. He was quiet for a moment, and then he laughed--a howl coming up from the bottom of his stomach. He laughed so loud and deep, I shook with it in my heaven.

it was a fresh change from Chuck Palahniuk's Choke. the descriptions were honest and luminous, being narrated by a 14 year old (dead) girl. in this book death is something both sweet and a little hollow, something that makes you both there and not there, something that allows you to see the world from an alternative view/allows you to have a bigger, better picture. death provides such advantages, without so much physical pain as you're no longer attached to your body. but seeing close people/family members you've left continue with their lives and solve the mystery of your death at the same time, you can't sit still in your heaven though you're already dead. it's a family-thing

2 comments:

  1. hey ho thx ya udah datang dan beli t-shirt nya :D

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  2. hi herald!
    sama sama, looking forward to watching ur next performance :)

    ReplyDelete